What’s normal at this age
- Fussing and crying average about 2 hours a day in the first 6 weeks and drop to about 1 hour by 10-12 weeks.106
- Cries, smiles and fussing are signals. You and your baby steer your time together through them.50
- Missed signals are common. Repairing them often may be linked with healthy development.50
- Hitting or biting can already appear around 12 months.67
- Recommended sleep at 4-12 months: 12-16 hours in 24 hours, naps included.123
What works, and why
- Respond warmly and soon. In a trial, more responsive mothering led to more growth in babies’ social, emotional, communication and thinking skills.14
- Keep a simple daily rhythm. Make the bedtime routine short and the same every night.121
- Baby-proof, so most of the house is a yes.
- Swap, don’t scold: trade the unsafe thing for a safe one.
- Talk with your baby: answer the babbles, name what they look at.156
What backfires
- Punishment. In its 2018 policy statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises against hitting, spanking and shaming at any age.64
- Shaking, ever. Put your baby down safely and walk away instead.
- Screens to soothe. In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics discouraged screens other than video chat before 18 months.110
- Long explanations and repeated warnings. Move the baby or the object instead.
Things you can say
I hear you. I’m coming.
That’s not for babies. Here’s your cup.
Gentle hands. Like this.
Stairs are not for playing. Let’s play over here.
Bath, book, song, bed.
